Fcuk You, AT&T

There are two things that have recently come to my attention. First, I find myself in a murderous rage infrequently - perhaps even disappointingly infrequently. Secondly, the times that I am deliriously homicidal are almost always related, in some way, to either the cable company or the cell phone company.

I have spent more time arguing ridiculous charges, calling either or both companies out on neglected promises or breaches of contract, asking to speak to supervisors, and endeavoring to explain to the misguided - though frequently well-intentioned and occasionally blameless - customer service agents that what they have just told me defies reason.

The worst thing is that I don't particularly want the services that these companies offer. I need the internet; I pay for cable because it is only a few dollars more to get both cable and internet than it is to get internet service by itself. I use my cell phone, but I certainly don't need the internet on my phone. I always let myself get talked into the "you'd be stupid not to do it" argument, because, well, I'm just trying to get through life without looking stupid. (Like Brian Reagan, it's not going so well.)

So I agreed that it would be silly to get the new phone - which I needed, because the old phone was unusable - and not pay a few dollars a month for the discounted (but unlimited) internet service that went with it. I've used it occasionally, usually to check the news on the bus. Again, I paid for unlimited internet service. Why, then, was my cell phone bill last month $969?